


Kidnapped by Amanto

by orphan_account



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Kidnapping, M/M, Rape, Some Fluff, Swearing, Tags May Change, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 01:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15328443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Crappy title, but there you go. Gintoki and Hijikata get kidnapped by some Amanto to be sold to the highest bidder, things go wrong and there is a lack of fluff. Sorry about that. Warning for rape (not GinHiji rape though, don't panic). With Chap 3, there's a bit more fluff.





	1. I'll get hurt so you don't have to

**Author's Note:**

> Right, boring stuff. This was crossposted from fanfic.net with quite a few edits, mainly with the chaptering. I was not happy with how I chaptered it, so I've fixed it here. I also wasn't happy with what was Chapter 4 (here chapter 2) so that's been edited. I'm leaving the original on fanfic.net if anyone wants to go find it though. There is rape in this fic and it will get graphic in places, so please don't read it if it will trigger you.  
> With that out of the way, let's go!
> 
> Edit: I removed the Gintoki/MOC tag because they don't have a relationship as such and it didn't feel right. If anyone wants me to put it back or tag anything else, let me know.

Waking up in a cell with his hands handcuffed was not a new experience for Sakata Gintoki. However, waking up in a glass-walled cell with a piece of paper stuck to his yukata with the one and only Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi in the next cell over was a new one. A closer inspection of the paper revealed a price, and quite a high one at that. It was nice to know that he was worth that much, even if he didn't like the reason why. Gintoki sat up and leaned backwards against the wall, putting on a pretence of calm. He glanced over at Hijikata and saw he was nibbling at his lip. Though this was cute, it was probably the most he would show of his withdrawal from cigarettes. 

"Oi, Mayora. What you doing there?" 

Said Mayora didn't miss a beat. 

"Dunno, Yorozuya, but I bet it's somethin' to do with you."

Gintoki couldn't argue with that. It was usually his fault when something went wrong. The witty reply he had prepared was cut off by the presence of an Amanto glaring down at him from the other side of the glass.

"Ah, room service. I'd like a parfait, please."

The Amanto responded by tapping something on the other side of the glass which caused the glass to fold outwards. He then stepped in and kicked Gintoki in the stomach. He'd like to say it didn't hurt, but he really couldn't. The most he let out was a grunt, but the Demon Vice-Commander looked downright pissed.

"Well, I don't remember parfaits tasting quite like that. Distinctly iron taste." 

He was rewarded with another kick, this one harder than the first. Gintoki stayed quiet this time, waiting for the Amanto to say his piece and leave.

"You are being sold tomorrow. Him too." At this the Amanto jerked his head in Hijikata's direction. "For convenience you're being put in the same cell, but don't even think about trying to escape." 

The Amanto pulled out two oversized dog collars and gestured to the back wall, where there were two chains attached.

Gintoki felt fear turn over in his stomach.

"Oh good. Nice to know even at my value I'm still being treated like a pet."

The Amanto stalked over to him and picked him up by his yukata, shoving him into the wall. While he was winded, the collar was sealed around his neck and the chain attached.

"You especially, Shiroyasha, are to be treated like a pet." The Amanto hissed, with a sneer plastered on his face. 

Gintoki hoped the Vice-Commander hadn't heard, but the intense feeling of attention on him suggested otherwise. 

"You try removing that collar, it'll give you an electric shock powerful enough to make you black out, so don't try anything stupid." 

The Amanto then grabbed Hijikata from the neighbouring cell, chained him to the wall too and then left, tightly sealing the door behind him.

Gintoki was the first to speak. 

"So." 

Hijikata didn't even look up. Gintoki tried a different tactic. 

"Tax thief. Mayora. Oogoshi-kun." 

He looked up at this and glared at Gintoki, though there was something that might have been fear hidden behind it. Gintoki ignored it. 

"Don't suppose you've got any escape plans locked up in that tactical brain of yours?"

"I would have thought that you'd have the escape plans, being the tactical one, Shiroyasha." Hijikata didn't add a sneer like the Amanto had done, but there was still anger there.

"I guess you did hear that." Gintoki was quiet for a moment. "If you want to arrest me you're going to have to wait until we get out of this."

Hijikata scowled. "I will, believe me. No escape plans Shiroyasha? I'm disappointed."

"That's not my name. Don't call me that." 

Gintoki's voice was quiet but the threat was clear. Hijikata should have taken note but frankly he didn't care. He was going to be sold like an animal and being killed by a legendary warrior seemed like a much better way to go.

"Oh really? 'Cause it seems like it to me. You should be dead. You're a war criminal."

At that Gintoki looked up and Hijikata's glare faltered when he saw the look in his eyes. It wasn't his usual dead fish eyes. Instead, they were the eyes of a man who had seen every pain of war and was forever burdened with it. 

"Don't tell me things I already know." 

He looked down for a moment and Hijikata was lost for words. Gintoki looked back up and that expression was gone, replaced with his usual blank expression, but he did seem weary. 

"Hijikata-kun, you look tired. You should get some sleep. Wouldn't want that pretty face of yours getting ruined by lack of sleep."

"Oi, perm head, quit your flirting." 

There was no response and the loud snoring sound from the other side of the cell suggested Gintoki was asleep. Hijikata didn't believe that for one minute, but it was clear that he didn't want to talk anymore. Hijikata sighed. It was true that he was exhausted. Whatever he had been given to knock him out was still floating around in his system. He tried to get as comfortable as possible and closed his eyes. It wasn't long before he fell sound asleep.

Gintoki was indeed still awake, but continued to fake sleep. It had long been a quality of his that if he pretended long enough, it would become real. This didn't always work out, but with sleep it was easier.

 

He eventually fell into a fitful, nightmare-filled sleep and woke up panting heavily at what he guessed was early in the morning. Hijikata hadn't stirred yet and it was odd to see the Demon Vice-Commander with such a relaxed look on his face. The peace didn't last long. 

The Amanto from the day before loomed in the doorway, with a younger man (the buyer presumably) behind him who couldn't have been that much older than the men he was buying. The man had such a lecherous look on his face that Gintoki wondered if staying with this man for long enough to come up with an escape plan would actually be possible. The Amanto opened the cell and stalked over to Gintoki, kicking Hijikata awake as he went near him. The Vice-Commander jerked his head up, took in the situation and scowled, particularly at his buyer. The Amanto stood over Gintoki, then placing his hand on the wall pulled the chain out, tossing it to the man, who tugged on it experimentally. The same happened to Hijikata. The Amanto sneered as he pushed them out of the cell. 

"Nice doing business with you, Mr Chome. Do come again." 

The man smiled and nodded, pulling his new property along behind him. Both Gintoki and Hijikata subtly struggled but the man was more powerful than he looked and there's only so much you can do when your neck is being pulled forward.

They quickly reached the man's ship. Gintoki was desperately trying to find a way out and he could tell Hijikata was getting fidgety too. But it was too late and they both knew it. So when they were pushed into the ship's hold and locked in with only a glass window along one wall to let them know anything of the outside world, they didn't complain. In fact, Gintoki felt like praising someone because they weren't chained to the wall anymore. 

He settled down, resting his back against the wall and pulling one knee into his chest, watching Hijikata pace. 

"You alright there, Vice-Commander?" 

He wanted to add a witty comment to the end of that, but couldn't find it in himself. Hijikata was clearly distressed.

"I'm fuckin great. I'm bein sold to some creep with the Shiroyasha of all people, and I'll probably never get home. So I'm doin just fine, thanks for asking." 

Before Gintoki could reply, the ship veered violently to one side, launching him at Hijikata. They collided and landed against the glass window. Gintoki, to stop himself from crushing Hijikata, had caught himself with his hands, placing one on each side of Hjikata's head and Gintoki's face was quite close to the back of Hijikata's head. Close enough that he could smell him. 

Hijikata glared round at him. 

"Get off me perm head, before I kick you in the balls."

"I'd love to, Oogoshi-kun, but gravity has decided to keep me here. Do you not like me here? Do you not like being this close to Gin-san?" 

Gintoki leaned forward, pressing himself more into Hijikata's back, pretending to not notice how nice that actually felt and hoping Hijikata didn't feel how his body was responding. Hijikata squirmed underneath him, which was really not helping things, then seemed to notice how little Gin was doing and stilled. 

"That better be your knee, Yorozuya." 

Saving him from an awkward response, yet again, the ship levelled off, allowing Gintoki to back up. He glanced down and winced. Little Gin wasn't looking so little anymore. Hijikata spun round, ready to unleash all hell, then saw Gintoki's situation and smirked. 

"Glad to know I have that effect on you, Yorozuya. I don't know if I should be flattered or worried."

"Be flattered. You wouldn't mind helping me deal with this would you? Little Gin looks so lonely."

For a split second, Hijikata looked like he was considering it, then it was gone. 

"Not a fuckin' hope in hell." 

Gintoki pouted, but both of them knew it was forced. Both men settled down again, on opposite sides of the hold, both aware of a quiet hissing sound but not sure what it meant. HIjikata fiddled with the collar, probably trying to find a way to remove it, but otherwise was still. Gintoki chose this moment to speak, now fully in control of himself. 

"Oi. You're calling me Yorozuya again. What changed?"

Hijikata lay down, suddenly tired, and rolled onto his side, facing the wall rather than Gintoki. 

"That name isn't yours anymore, right? You aren't him, right?" 

Gintoki was silent. Hijikata sighed. "When you've got an answer for me, we'll talk." He yawned. "I'm just so tired. G'night Yorozuya."

"Why are-" He sniffed. There was a sharp, chemical smell that hadn't been there before. "Oh. He's gassed us."

Gintoki felt himself becoming more and more drowsy against his will and eventually slumped on his side, eyes flickering. It didn't take long for him to succumb to sleep, but he kept his eyes on Hijikata for as long as he could, promising that he would find some way out of this.

 

Gintoki was jerked awake by a soft voice calling out to him.

"Oh good, you're finally awake. I was thinking I'd have to start without you."

He noticed three things very quickly. First, both he and Hijikata were chained to a wall again, but this one looked to be in a fancy house, with their limbs pulled loosely to the sides. A quick check confirmed that there wasn't much give, but enough to shift if their blood flow got cut off. Second, the man who had bought them was leaning far too close to Gintoki's face for his liking. His breath smelt overly fresh, but there was still a hint of sour there. Wrinkling his nose, Gintoki came to the third thing. His usual yukata had been replaced with a black one, tied very loosely and not covering very much. Hijikata was similarly dressed, but his yukata was a lighter colour, closer to a stormy sky. Despite the circumstances, Gintoki found himself admiring the colour on Hijikata. 

He turned his attention back to the creepy man whose name he hadn't even bothered to remember. 

"So, what were you going to start? Your face is bit close by the way, would you mind moving it away? Your breath smells." 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hijikata's mouth twitch, as though hiding a smirk. However, the man didn't find it quite as funny. He quickly slapped Gintoki in the face, quite hard. Gintoki barked a laugh, he couldn't help himself. He was slapped again, harder this time, so that he could feel the beginnings of blood forming on his cheek. The man looked as though he wanted to slap him again, but something changed in his face. He leaned forward again brushed his nose against Gintoki's cheek. Gintoki tried not to flinch, but he must have stiffened slightly because the man smirked and licked the blood from his cheek in one smooth movement. He moved back again and licked his lips. Hijikata had paled and looked downright disgusted. 

The man spoke softly again, but it carried easily. 

"I hear you withstood all forms of torture they threw at you, Shiroyasha." 

Gintoki smirked up at him, ignoring his stinging cheek.

"I guess you have some special form of torture which will get me to bow to you or something?" He scoffed.

"I do." The man walked over to Hijikata with practised calm, even though he was actually excited. "I hear you have a fierce loyalty to friends. I hear it's even fiercer for people you love."

Gintoki's smirk turned into a glare but his tone remained light. "You hear an awful lot, don't you? Didn't hear my request for a parfait did you though?"

The man ran a finger down Hijikata's torso, hooking under the fabric but not lifting it any more than that. "So if I was to have my way with the lovely Vice-Commander, you would let me do whatever I wanted to you to avoid that?"

Gintoki remained silent, eyes flicking around the room.

The man turned back to him, allowing his finger to make a brief circle against Hijikata's skin and relishing how tense the man came beneath him, before pulling it free. 

"So, what'll it be?"

Gintoki looked over, catching Hijikata's eye. Both men were glaring at each other, having a silent conversation and telling the other to not do what this guy wanted. Then the man leaned into Hijikata and breathed in right by his neck and made sure the sigh that came after could be heard throughout the room.

Gintoki snapped. 

"Fine. Do whatever you want to me. That's what you bought me for, right?" 

The man smiled, an ugly proud thing, and pushed roughly away from Hijikata, eagerly eyeing up his new toy. Gintoki held the man's gaze, even when he was right in front of him.  
The man kissed his cheek. 

"I knew you'd come round."

 

His hands explored Gintoki's chest and legs for what felt like too long and not long enough before he started to make more serious advances. He bit down on Gintoki's neck and slid a hand down into the yukata. Gintoki could deal with the touching and the kissing, but if he planned to keep going, this might get ugly. He couldn't hold back the yelp as a finger made its way behind him but was saved from any further advancements as a gong sounded from behind the door.

The man extracted himself reluctantly and frowned. 

"You weren't as much fun as I expected. Maybe it would be better to enjoy the Vice-Commander instead."

Gintoki glanced over at Hijikata for the first time since the man had started to touch him. There was a blush which had spread along his neck, clearly embarrassment at having to watch, but there was real fear in his eyes now. Gintoki couldn't let this happen. He sighed. The things he would do for this man. 

"Oi. Pervert."

The man didn't even look back and cut him off. 

"Whatever you're going to say, wait until I've eaten." 

He then walked out of the room calmly, subtly wiping his finger on his clothes.

Gintoki gave it a moment before tugging at the restraints. Some testing earlier had told him that though the chains themselves were quite strong, the connection to the wall they were attached to was not. Bracing himself, he yanked them forward as hard as he could with a low grunt of effort. Hijikata opened his mouth to say that there was no hope of getting free, but quickly shut it when Gintoki suddenly became free and fell flat on his face. 

"Graceful, Yorozuya."

"Shut it, Mayora. I'm about to save that pretty arse of yours." 

Hijikata scoffed, but silently wished that he would hurry the fuck up. Gintoki had just started to free Hijikata when the man returned.

To his credit, the man only briefly showed surprise, but quickly acted on it, summoning four guards from outside. They were all armed with wicked looking katana and spears and Gintoki knew he couldn't beat them, but he was still going to try. It wouldn't be like him to sit out of a fight which affected people he cared about. Without a weapon he'd need to take them out quickly. Seeing the first guard lower his weapon slightly, Gintoki dove forward and elbowed the man in the throat, quickly turning to the next man and kicking him in the stomach hard enough for him to stagger back. The remaining two were more cautious, choosing not to move forward, and Gintoki knew he had lost his edge. He rushed the closest one, but the other one stepped round behind him and tripped him, depositing him on his face again. There was a faint snick as the blades of the spears met at Gintoki's neck. He snarled, hating his helplessness, and glared up at the pervert (for that is what he was). He didn't - he couldn't - miss the smirk plastered on the pervert's face and suddenly he knew he had been played like a fiddle. That annoyed him more than anything.

"Tactics getting rusty, Shiroyasha?"

"If you're trying to get a rise out of me, you're failing."

"I have you exactly where I want you, so who's in the position to make jokes?"

"I'm always in a position to make jokes. You on the other hand, not so much."

The pervert grabbed Gintoki by the face and forcibly kissed him, digging his nails into his neck as he did. He pulled away panting slightly but kept his hold on Gintoki's chin. 

"I've made my claim on you. If you won't acknowledge that, I'll make you. Or break you. Your choice."

Gintoki opened his mouth to make some snarky comment but Hijikata finally spoke up.

"What d'you want from us, pervert?"

The pervert looked round at the Vice-Commander and frowned, as though remembering that he was there and could speak. 

"I thought I'd made that clear. I want to enjoy my property. Unfortunately, you're just a tool. A tool I can enjoy, but a tool nonetheless." He looked back down at Gintoki. "You, on the other hand, are mine to use. I'll be gentle if you let me continue where we left off. But if you keep resisting, it won't be you that I'm rough to."

Gintoki scowled. 

"Fine. You want me? Have me. You're not the first. But, if you touch him again, I'll rip off whatever you touch him with."

The pervert grinned, his eyes widening with anticipation. He gestured for the guards to back off and they left the room again, this time more cautiously. Gesturing at Hijikata, the pervert spoke again. 

"He'll be watching, so put on your best performance." 

Gintoki bared his teeth in a snarl, but didn't speak. The pervert pointed back at the wall which Gintoki had been chained to before and waited for him to move there. 

"Sit." 

He did. The pervert sat in his lap and started to kiss him again, this time more fiercely and occasionally nipping at his lip. While kissing, he allowed his hands to roam, sliding the yukata off with relative ease and admiring each new bit of flesh that was revealed. He stood up, panting slightly, and undid his trousers, throwing them off to one side. 

"Lie down." 

Gintoki hesitated and was rewarded with a kick to the ribs. 

"Lie. Down." 

He did. The pervert straddled Gintoki again and pressed their dicks together, moaning himself but only getting a hiss out of the other man.

It was at this point that Hijikata closed his eyes. He heard all the sounds; the moaning from the pervert and the occasional hiss or gasp from the Yorozuya but he couldn't bear to look. 

After what felt like far too long he heard the man climax and then a sickening snapping sound. Opening his eyes he saw the naked corpse of the pervert, his head at an odd angle, and a stony-faced Yorozuya staring at the body. Hijikata wanted to say something but couldn't find the words to express himself. The silver-haired samurai stood and dressed himself, ignoring his shaking hands, and stiffly walked over to Hijikata. Yanking on the chains, he snapped them easily and caught the weakened man who still protested. Pausing for a moment, Gintoki grabbed a loose chain and then knelt in front of the raven-haired man. 

"Get on. Carrying you won't be too hard."

The reply was instant and honest.

"You'll have to fight." 

"Then you better have my back." 

It was clear that he wasn't budging and that they didn't have the time to argue about this. Sighing quietly, Hijikata reached round and clasped his hands together against the other man's collar bone, wincing at the muscles jumping under his hand. Lifting his legs as he rose into the air, he tried to ignore the childish feelings bubbling inside him. They were about to escape from the house of a rapist, he shouldn't be excited about a piggy back.

The snap must have been heard by the guards, or maybe there was a camera somewhere, because a guard looked in and, seeing the corpse of his boss, called the other guards who circled around Gintoki.

Clutching the chain, he just laughed. 

"I've faced worse than you for people I love. What makes you think you can take me?" 

The first one rushed him and Hijikata clung on tighter, promising himself he'd come back to those words (and the other comments from earlier) if they survived this. Gintoki swung the chain round, catching the nearest guard in the face with it and grabbing his katana as he went down. Now he was armed. Even with an injured man his own size clinging to his back, he easily made quick work of the guards and was not kind about it. He cut the first in half and decapitated the second. The third, now standing alone, darted round and tried to stab Hijikata who kicked him half-heartedly. It was enough to allow Gintoki time to turn round and cut him down. Gintoki caught his breath for a moment, shifting Hijikata into a more comfortable position. Slowly, he stumbled forwards. He wasn't sure where he was going and he didn't care as long as it was out.

 

Gintoki's instincts must have kicked in because he quickly found the exit and upon seeing a familiar street in Edo he pushed forward. Each step became slightly easier as he saw buildings he recognised and finally he saw the Shinsengumi barracks looming on the horizon. 

"You're home." 

He spoke softly but was still surprised when he got no response. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Hijikata looking up at him intensely. The guards had seen them by this point and had come to make sure their Vice-Commander got the care he deserved. They took him off of Gintoki's back and thanked him, carrying their Vice-Commander between them. Gintoki made to leave but paused when Hijikata spoke.

"Wait." 

The silver-haired man looked back over his shoulder. 

"Three things. One. You should rest. I saw what he did to you and what you did to him. Stay here. Two. You never answered my question. About who you are. Three." He hesitated. "What did you mean when you said you loved me?"

By this point Kondo and Sougo had appeared but were wisely keeping silent.

Gintoki fully turned back to answer. 

"I have kids to look after, I can't stay. Besides, I can handle it. I'm me, that's what I've always been and my motives haven't changed. And I meant what I said. That good enough for you?"

"No. The kids will be at Otae-san's, so they can sort themselves out."

Kondo nodded, confirming where the kids were.

Hijikata continued. "You're staying here. If you mean it, then say it again. Properly."

"You'll have to arrest me to make me stay. And you want to hear it again? Fine. I love you." He turned round again, ready to walk off but was stopped by Kondo and Sougo in front of him, swords levelled at his throat.

"Reason for arrest, Toshi?"

"Treason and war crimes. That man is the Shiroyasha."

Gintoki glared back at Hijikata and subtly shifted into a fighting stance. 

"You're using that against me? That's low, Vice-Commander." He directed his attention to the two threatening him. "That was years ago. I'm the _former _Shiroyasha. But don't think that I won't fight you if I have to."__

__"Right back at you, Joi scum."_ _

__Sougo's words may have been confident but he was still trying to catch up. His fellow sadist was one of the Big 4 Joi patriots from the war? Kondo seemed just as confused._ _

__"Sakata-san, we don't want to fight you."_ _

__Gintoki cut him off. "Then call off your dog."_ _

__"Don't call me that." Hijikata scowled and started to walk inside, seemingly having recovered some energy. "Stick him in a cell for a few hours then bring him to my room. I'll sort it from there."_ _

__"Toshi-"_ _

__"That's the plan and that's final."_ _

__With that he disappeared inside. Sougo had taken Gintoki's sword but they all knew that he didn't need it to fight. Despite (maybe because of) his situation, Gintoki couldn't help but smirk and make jokes._ _

__"Having some problems in the ranks? Such a shame."_ _

__"Shut up and walk, Shiroyasha."_ _

__"Move those swords from my neck and I might be able to. Or maybe I'll to impale myself on those, save myself from the wrath of the demon."_ _

__They obliged but cuffed him instead. The flashbacks that this caused, not just from the past couple of days, instinctively made him jerk back, but Kondo and Sougo grabbed him._ _

__"Don't make this difficult."_ _

__At least Kondo was trying to be nice._ _

__"Oh I'm sorry, when my freedom is being taken from me I tend to not react well."_ _

__He calmed down slightly, but still couldn't fight down the unease that was getting stronger with every step towards the holding cells. It was only when they reached them and he was locked inside did he truly start to panic. Sougo lingered outside the cell for a moment before speaking._ _

__"I'll send someone down to look after you."_ _

__"I'm not a child."_ _

__Sougo smirked down at him, but it didn't quite reach his eyes._ _

__"No. You're a caged monster. So you still need some looking after."_ _

__He left quickly, not willing to stay in the cells._ _

__"You're the monster, Souichiro-kun. You've arrested an innocent man!"_ _

__There was no response. Gintoki sighed heavily, ignoring the slight wobble in the sound, and ran his hand through his hair. He sat against the wall for 5 minutes but got restless so started to pace. He'd accepted all the punishment he deserved and then some when this had happened the first time, but now he was happy to punish himself. He didn't need someone else to tell him what he already knew he'd done wrong. Glancing out of the small, barred window he settled in for the long haul._ _

__

__He kept pacing for hours, and when thoughts of decapitation tried to sneak up on him, he paced faster. Gintoki was shaken from his thoughts when he noticed Kondo leaning against the opposite cell. He stopped mid-step._ _

__"How long have you been there?"_ _

__"Not long. But long enough to get the general gist of your muttering. We won't kill you. I can't speak for Toshi, but you definitely won't be officially executed."_ _

__"Oh because that's reassuring." He ran a hand through his hair. He hadn't noticed he was muttering. "Does he want to see me yet, I'm getting a bit bored of the feel of these floorboards."_ _

__Kondo smiled sadly._ _

__"He does. Come on."_ _

__He unlocked the cell door and gestured down the corridor. Gintoki was marched along a maze of corridors until he reached a door that smelled heavily of cigarette smoke. The smell calmed him slightly, reminded him that Hijikata was going back to normal. Kondo cleared his throat, as though about to ask something but was cut off by Hijikata speaking from inside._ _

__"Come in, bastard."_ _

__Kondo opened the door, let Gintoki in and closed it again, wishing him luck as he went._ _

__Gintoki looked around and quickly found Hijikata behind his desk, glaring up at him._ _

__"Don't suppose you're going to take these cuffs off?"_ _

__Hijikata stayed silent._ _

__"Didn't think so. So what do you want from me?"_ _

__"I want to know how you are."_ _

__"Considering I've been arrested, not great."_ _

__"I don't mean about that." Hijikata pinched the bridge of his nose. "I mean after today. Did what that pervert do to you not bother you?"_ _

__Gintoki shifted slightly so the cuffs were looser around his wrists. "No." His answer was flat._ _

__"I don't believe you."_ _

__"Fine. Don't. Doesn't make a difference to me. But at least he didn't go near you."_ _

__"I would have been able to handle it."_ _

__"Really?" Gintoki sneered. "That look on your face said otherwise. You couldn't even watch."_ _

__Hijikata blushed but Gintoki was too worked up to care. He stalked over to the sitting man and jumped over the table, crashing into Hijikata who yelped with surprise. With his hands cuffed, Gintoki was forced to sit on the raven-haired man to pin him in place but it still had the desired effect, if not more so; the man in question blushed when he realised how vulnerable he was._ _

__Gintoki smirked and carried on, looking down imperiously as he did. "If you can't handle this, then you wouldn't be able to handle even what he did to me. But you wouldn't know, because you didn't look. Coward."_ _

__Hijikata glared up at him but Gintoki still wasn't done and he was done being anything even close to polite._ _

__"Want me to to tell you?" He paused but it was clear he was going to carry on anyway. "He rubbed our dicks together and then when that didn't do anything for him he didn't bother preparing anything and just shoved it in me. I've never been in so much pain. But you know what I did? To stop you from being scarred for life, I didn't make a sound. I held everything in and when that bastard finally came, I reached up and snapped his neck. I'd have loved to rip him to pieces with my bare hands, but you know why I didn't? Because I had a duty to you first and foremost. And you threw it back in my face." He spat the last sentence out then composed himself. "I could make you do anything I wanted, Vice-Commander, even with my hands cuffed. But I won't, because I'm not a bastard. And because I love you. I'll say it as many times as I want, even if you don't care."_ _

__Having said his piece, Gintoki stood up and glanced around as if looking for something. Apparently finding it, he strode over to the cupboard and kicked it open, revealing a scowling Sougo, an uncomfortable Yamazaki and a genuinely pitying Kondo._ _

__"Say any of what you heard to anyone else and it won't be the Yorozuya who comes after you. It'll be the Shiroyasha."_ _

__Hijikata had sat up and rearranged his desk by the time the three Shinsengumi had left and Gintoki had turned around, a weary expression on his face. It occurred to Hijikata that the man hadn't slept in hours and probably desperately needed it. He finally spoke up._ _

__"You can break out of those cuffs, why are you keeping them on?"_ _

__"After all of that, that's the question you're going to ask?"_ _

__"Humour me."_ _

__"I'm waiting to see if you'll do it yourself."_ _

__Hijikata beckoned Gintoki and pulled the key from his pocket. The click of the cuffs being released was too quiet for how momentous an action it was. Gintoki brought his hands forward and rubbed feeling into his wrists._ _

__"Thank you."_ _

__It was the most he was willing to offer at this point, he was barely awake. He turned to leave but was stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist._ _

__"Who said you could leave?"_ _

__"I did."_ _

__"And I said you couldn't. I said you were staying the night, so you are."_ _

__"That's awfully forward of you, Hijikata-kun. Shame, I'm not really in the mood today."_ _

__Hijikata blushed but pulled Gintoki back with him until he felt the futon with his foot and deposited him on the futon._ _

__"You need to sleep. So sleep. I'll keep watch."_ _

__Gintoki would be lying if he said he fought to stay awake. He snuggled into the blanket slightly, not even tucking himself in._ _

__"Alright, you win this time. But don't think I won't be ready tomorrow."_ _

__Hijikata raised an eyebrow but relaxed when he heard the regular breathing of the silver-haired samurai. Things were back to normal, or as much as they could be. The Yorozuya - no, Gintoki - was finally resting, the pervert was dead and Hijikata could go back to his paperwork. As weird as it sounded, it was a comfort. Settling in, Hijikata smiled and got to work._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it works better laid out like this, even if my formatting is still crap. I kind of think they're OOC in places, but let me know what you think.  
> Bonus points if you get the "that better be your knee" reference.


	2. Recovery is a long road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all over, but now everyone has to deal with the aftermath, especially Hijikata who how to feel about the fact that Gintoki has feelings for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more graphic rape, phew.  
> Boring stuff: This is quite different from what ended up on fanfic.net because I wasn't happy with that. Tell me if there's any grammar mistakes or anything and I'll fix it. I'm still not fully happy with how this turned out (they feel OOC?), but this is probably as good as it'll get.  
> With out of the way, let's go!

As much as Hijikata liked paperwork, the amount he had to do to clear up what had happened was getting a bit ridiculous now. To clarify, it wasn't just for the sorting out of the deaths of that pervert and his guards and writing up a report for official records. Some of the details were ostensibly omitted to maintain what was left of Gintoki's dignity but Hijikata was starting to admit to himself that he just couldn't bring himself to write the details that had to be included.

That wasn't even the whole problem. The problem was that he, Kondo, Sougo, and (after a lot of convincing from the man in question) Gintoki had gone out and slaughtered the Amanto who had been responsible for their kidnapping and everything that came after. This was a perfectly justified thing to do (everyone had agreed) but that didn't mean that it didn't need explaining to the higher-ups. Sougo and Kondo had cleared a way in to the warehouse where the bastards had holed up and then protected Gintoki and Hijikata while they violently killed everyone who came even vaguely close to them. Hijikata had never felt so angry as when he glanced over at Gintoki to gauge how much time he could spend on his last couple of guys and saw Gintoki limping, as much as he was hiding it, and standing at a strange angle despite being uninjured. The reason why didn't immediately click with Hijikata but once it did, he saw red and the next thing he knew he was stood in a pile of blood and corpses with Gintoki behind him looking weary but also somewhat surprised. Hijikata had mumbled some kind of apology for jumping into a fight that wasn't his own and then had left to sort through his own thoughts.

So here he was. Attempting to sort through them. Hijikata had never thought of Gintoki in a romantic or sexual way but now it was all he could think about and it was driving him mad, especially when he thought about how much Gintoki flirted and what he wanted to do to him. A blush crept over Hijikata's neck and he threw off his jacket in an attempt to cool down. He had no idea how to approach this. He wasn't ready for...stuff...even if Gintoki had implied that he was. Maybe he'd flirt a bit, but that would be it. Yeah. Test the waters.

Having successfully convinced himself that he was a functioning human, Hijikata's thoughts moved to the silver-haired samurai himself. They'd barely interacted since the warehouse raid and he was starting to worry. Gintoki had been acting funny, like an exaggeration of himself and even though it was clear to everyone that something was wrong, no one was doing anything about it. It wasn't his responsibility but...

Hijikata sighed and looked at the clock. It was fairly late so the Yorozuya group (minus Gintoki - he didn't go out much these days) were probably still out. Gintoki would likely be lazing around trying to overcome all the memories of the last couple of days on his own, like he always did. Maybe it was time to pay him a visit.

"Yamazaki!"

It was a testament to Yamazaki's fear that he arrived so quickly. "Yes, Vice-Commander?"

"I'm goin' on patrol near the Yorozuya's, take care of this paperwork for me."

"Of course, Vice-Commander!" He paused. "Any particular reason?"

Hijikata scowled as he stood. "No."

Yamazaki wasn't convinced but let him leave anyway. He'd heard the rumours and didn't really want to get involved.

 

Hijikata squinted up at the Yorozuya building, the sun making the sign seem much whiter than normal. There was no yelling, so presumably there was no one in, but you never knew with this lot. He was about to go up the stairs when the door of the bar slid open, startling him. The owner, Otose, was standing there, a knowing smile on her face.

"I wondered when you'd turn up."

"I didn't know I was expected."

Otose took a drag of her cigarette and Hijikata was hit with a sudden urge to light one himself. 

"I'd wish you luck but I don't think you'll need it. He just needs company that might understand him. The kids can't do that. I trust you'll be able to."

Hijikata gave into his craving and lit a cigarette, needing its comfort to get through this conversation. 

"That's a lot of responsibility you're puttin' on me, especially when it comes to that guy."

"You don't think you can handle it?" Her reply was sharp.

"I didn't say that." He took a deep inhale of his cigarette. "I'm just sayin' this might go wrong before it goes right."

Otose seemed to relax again. "I see. Go make it right then."

With the intense feeling that he'd been dismissed, Hijikata headed up the stairs and rang the doorbell. A groan sounded from somewhere inside them something that might have been "we're closed" followed it. Hijikata rang the doorbell again, more insistently this time. The groan came louder along with the sound of padding feet and the door was flung open.

Whatever Gintoki had been about to say was quickly replaced with a look of slight surprise. 

"Vice-Commander?"

Hijikata raised his eyebrows. Gintoki had never called him that before, not seriously anyway. He cleared his throat. 

"Can I come in?"

"That's awfully polite of you. Normally you just barge in." 

Gintoki obliged anyway and moved aside, letting Hijikata pass by him.

Sliding the door shut behind him, Gintoki followed Hijikata in and subtly directed him to the living room so he wouldn't go wandering. It didn't quite feel right to let him wander as he pleased for some reason. He lingered in the doorway as Hijikata sat stiffly on one of the sofas, clearly uncomfortable but trying to hide it.

"Why are you here?" 

Though there was some weariness in his voice, there was also some curiosity. It wasn't everyday Gintoki got a pleasure visit from any member of the Shinsengumi, never mind the Vice-Commander. 

"Just wanted to drop by and keep you updated."

"Business call, then?" Gintoki's disappointment was carefully hidden but he had the distinct feeling that Hijikata had noticed.

"Mostly." He continued before Gintoki could jump in. "I sorted out all the paperwork for that incident in the warehouse, so you're in the clear. I also kept the name Shiroyasha out of your file. I thought about it some more and whatever the Shiroyasha did then, the Yorozuya isn't doin' now. You can make it known whenever you want to. If we get asked, we know nothin' about it."

An awkward silence settled over them as Gintoki thought of something to say. 

"You didn't have to do something like that, you know."

"We owe you. _I _owe you."__

__"For what?"_ _

__Gintoki had wandered over to his desk by this point and was casually leaning on it, his hands lightly resting on the wooden surface behind him._ _

__Hijikata looked up at him and didn't even try to hide his regret._ _

__"We failed you as the Shinsengumi when we should have protected you." Gintoki opened his mouth to protest but Hijikata was intent on carrying on. "Don't give me any crap about how you can protect yourself. I know you can. That's not the point. You're a civilian and the Shinsengumi's job is to look after its people, not let them get hurt."_ _

__"I didn't get hurt." Gintoki's response was quiet and careful but it carried easily through the room._ _

__"Bullshit. I saw you strugglin' in the warehouse." Hijikata didn't voice his concerns about the other man's mental and emotional health._ _

__"Is that why you jumped into my fight?"_ _

__What could have been an angry question was closer to curious and Hijikata couldn't deny the fact that he was relieved. Gintoki being pissed at him had been difficult to handle the first time._ _

__"I'm not sure." He collected his thoughts. "I just- I got so angry. At them for doin' that to you, at you for hidin' it. Maybe even at myself for not noticin' earlier."_ _

__Gintoki was quiet for a moment before coming over to join Hijikata on the sofa, leaning against the back and curling his knees into his chest._ _

__"You don't need to feel like that, I'll get over it."_ _

__Hijikata felt that anger spike again and was spitting the words out before he could stop himself._ _

__"Don't lie to me like you do everyone else. I'm not your kids, you don't need to protect me. I might not have seen everythin', but I heard enough. You are not fine. You've been like a caricature of yourself the past few days, just so you can't worry anyone. Well, you're worryin' me."_ _

__"Why do you care?" Gintoki's voice was blank and emotionless and it was this that pushed Hijikata over the edge. He gripped his sword to ground himself and glared at the silver-haired man._ _

__"Oh I don't know, mainly because I like you and gravitate towards you for some reason, but also because you confessed to me, bastard! Don't say all that stuff an' then expect me to feel nothin' afterwards!"_ _

__Gintoki frowned._ _

__"Don't feel forced to like me because of that."_ _

__Hijikata growled._ _

__"I don't! I liked you before that!"_ _

__Hijikata could feel his face warming as the silence dragged on. Gintoki looked shocked, his eyes wider than normal and his mouth hanging slightly open._ _

__"Sin-" Gintoki's voice cracked, so he tried again. "Since when?"_ _

__Looking down, Hijikata tried to calm himself._ _

__"I don't know. A while though."_ _

__Gintoki curled even more into himself, resting his head on his knees._ _

__"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was soft._ _

__"Same reason you didn't tell me probably."_ _

__They sat in silence for a while after that, Gintoki deep in thought and Hijikata was working out what to say next._ _

__"Oi."_ _

__Gintoki looked up, waiting. Hijikata cleared his throat awkwardly._ _

__"We're not really the type to talk about out feelings, are we?" Gintoki huffed. "Thought so. So why don't we just, you know, talk? Spend time with each other and act like normal people. That would help, wouldn't it?"_ _

__Gintoki pressed his face into his knees, his voice coming out muffled when he spoke._ _

__"I don't need help."_ _

__Hijikata reached forward, intending to grab the silver-haired man's hand, but was surprised when he brushed against Gintoki's hand and was slapped away. Gintoki looked up, eyes panicked, until he realised what he had done and his hands started to shake._ _

__"Shit." He breathed the word, a guilty look crossing his face. "I didn't mean to. I just-" He swallowed. "Human contact has been hard the past couple of days."_ _

__Hijikata put his hands back down and swallowed down his worry. Running a hand through his hair, Hijikata desperately tried to think of ways to salvage the situation. He wasn't going to force the man to speak so he resorted to the only thing he had left in mind._ _

__"Want to watch a film?"_ _

__Gintoki's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and suspicion._ _

__"Huh?"_ _

__Hijikata started playing with a loose thread on the sofa, plucking at it with his right hand._ _

__"I think we both need a break. I think there's a comedy on TV soon. We can relax, spend time with each other without stabbing each other and act like civil people for once."_ _

__The ghost of a smile flickered across Gintoki's face._ _

__"We wouldn't know how to be civil even if we got lessons in it."_ _

__"We'd probably attack whoever was giving the lesson or go snowboarding on them if your time with the Shogun is anything to go by."_ _

__Gintoki snorted and lifted his head off of his knees._ _

__"That wasn't my fault. Besides, you did the same to the Gorilla."_ _

__Hijikata winced, remembering the whole ordeal._ _

__"Kondo-san probably enjoyed it, knowing him."_ _

__Gintoki adopted a jokey tone, the first time he'd genuinely done so in days._ _

__"Now, now, Hijikata-kun, you shouldn't talk about your superiors like that."_ _

__"Shuddap."_ _

__Hijikata turned away in mock anger but found himself looking back when he felt a foot tap against his thigh. Gintoki was looking in the direction of the TV._ _

__"We gonna watch that film?"_ _

__"Of course."_ _

__With a smile, Hijikata reached forward and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, turning the TV on and flicking to the right channel. They'd missed the first five minutes of the film, but not much had happened so neither seemed to mind. Gintoki shuffled around until his head was resting on a cushion on the arm of the sofa, his knees pulled into his chest but still facing the TV. As if sensing Hijikata's attention on him, he explained himself._ _

__"I'm tired. If I fall asleep like this, I'll be more comfortable."_ _

__Hijikata frowned, guessing the reason why he hadn't slept well, but chose not to press it further, instead focusing on the film._ _

__

__It was about half way through the film when Hijikata looked over again, suppressing a smile at what he saw. Gintoki was fast asleep, hands and knees pulled into his chest, his regular breathing just audible over the quietly playing film. Hijikata stood up and pulled a spare blanket from the cupboard (it took him longer than he'd like to admit to find it), gently resting it over Gintoki. The silver-haired man stirred slightly, but didn't fully wake, his eyes staying closed._ _

__As quietly as possible, Hijikata crept to the front door and let himself outside, making his way down the stairs but halting once he saw the rest of the Yorozuya outside Otose's bar. The China girl made to say something but Hijikata pressed his finger to his lips, shushing her._ _

__"He's asleep."_ _

__The glasses kid raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything._ _

__Hijikata rubbed the back of his neck, looking awkwardly to one side. "Just-" He sighed. "Let him sleep, yeah?"_ _

__He didn't give them time to respond, instead briskly walking down the street back towards the barracks._ _

__Today hadn't been perfect. Gintoki was still very much unstable and unwilling to admit it. But they'd made some progress. He'd relaxed enough to sleep at least and Hijikata had some idea of what the problem was (even if he had no idea how to fix it). But with some work and patience, things might work out._ _

__Hijikata could only pray that they would._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this was originally going to be a smut chapter taking place the morning after (there's a couple of paragraphs written and everything) but it just felt wrong to have their relationship go so far so quickly, so I scrapped it. That doesn't mean smut is out of the question, but there needs to be more fluff and relationship building first. I'll probably write another chapter or two (I'm a very slow uploader, don't expect much) and see where we end up from there.  
> Comment and/or kudos if you liked it (or if you didn't *shrugs* I'm always up for some constructive criticism)


	3. The Road to Recovery is Still Long and Winding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peers out from cave* uhhh hi. So I'm alive????
> 
> This is basically gonna be the last chapter of this, but if you want the big long essay on that then go to the end notes.
> 
> I have proofread this, but if there's any grammar/continuity mistakes or typos or anything, then tell me and I'll fix it as best as I can :) Let's go!
> 
> (also, to the person who was like 'I read this on ff.net and it's nice to see the fic still lives' however long ago it was, I apologise. This is for you I guess????)

When Gintoki woke up, he just knew that it was going to be a terrible day. He’d woken up suddenly because of some nightmare that he couldn’t really remember, there was a pulsing in his temples that didn’t want to go away and the kids were being way too loud for his liking.

It was the first day that the Yorozuya was accepting customers again, having briefly closed so that Gintoki could recover. Even so, Gintoki didn’t really feel like he was ready. Not like he could do anything about it. The fridge was painfully empty and the cupboards were gathering dust, so he had to work. He had no choice.

He dragged himself out of bed and ran a hand through his hair, wincing as he pulled a little too harshly.

“Kagura?”

“Yes, Gin-chan?” She popped her head around the doorway, an innocent expression on her face. She (or Sadaharu) had probably done something she shouldn’t have done, but Gintoki was too tired to deal with it.

“Do people know we’re open today?”

She nodded. “The old lady spread the news yesterday.”

Gintoki absently wandered into the bathroom and splashed his face with water.

“Good, we’re dirt poor.”

“We’re always dirt poor, Gin-san!” Shinpachi’s voice floated through the flat and Gintoki winced. Normally it would be a welcome sign of normality but today it was just abrasive. He sighed. It was going to be a very long day.

 

A few hours later, Gintoki was about ready to throw himself out of the window. 

There hadn’t been many customers, but they’d all been so obnoxious and irritating that Gintoki just couldn’t handle it. He’d sent Kagura and Shinpachi to deal with a job each and then told the next person to come in that he’d deal with their job tomorrow because he didn’t have the right amount of people to deal with it. The man hadn’t been pleased, but he’d been willing to wait because it wasn’t something that desperately needed doing.

Now that all that had been dealt with, Gintoki was just rolling his head over his desk groaning quietly to himself. It was barely midday and he already wanted to crawl back into bed and never get out again. Maybe he’d miscalculated how ready he was to face the world again.

Before he could consider closing early, the doorbell rang again. Stifling a scream of frustration, Gintoki got up and shuffled to the door.

Sliding it open, he started his spiel. “Hello, Yorozuya Gin-chan how can we-“ He abruptly stopped. “Hijikata.”

The Vice-Commander was just standing there, cigarette poking out of his lips and a couple of files in his arms.

“Yo.” He tilted his head slightly. “Can I come in?”

Gintoki blinked. “Yeah, sure.” 

He stepped aside to let Hijikata pass and frowned. What was he doing here? Gintoki followed him into the main room and just watched as he settled on one of the sofas, opened the first file and started to read, occasionally crossing something out or writing a little note.

“Uhh.” Hijikata didn’t look up. “What are you doing?”

“My paperwork,” he said simply, still not looking up. Gintoki sighed and looked at the ceiling. 

“I mean,” he tried again. “What are you doing in my flat?”

“My paperwork.”

Gintoki groaned. “Oh my god,” he muttered to himself. “Go and do it somewhere else!" he shouted. "Your uniform is bad for business!”

Hijikata looked up at that, his face blank. “Huh.” He grabbed his files and stood up again. He looked Gintoki up and down, then made for the door again. “See you round, Yorozuya,” he called over his shoulder. Then he was gone.

Gintoki stared after him. “What the fuck?”

 

It was quiet for a while after that. Most people were working so Gintoki wasn’t expecting anyone until later. He was perfectly happy sitting at his desk and spinning his pen round in circles. He was determined to beat his record of 9 spins.

Just as he made to spin the pen again, the doorbell rang again, making him jump. His hand jerked and he somehow managed to launch the pen off of his desk and into the great unknown that was underneath the couch on the right.

“Ah,” he said to himself. “Fuck.”

The doorbell rang again, for longer this time as if the person on the other end was just holding the button.

“I’m coming!” Gintoki yelled. Then, quieter, “This better be important.”

He padded to the door and slid it open. He blinked.

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Gintoki groaned.

Hijikata was standing in the doorway again, still with the files and a cigarette poking out of his mouth, but this time in a pale blue yukata. He raised a hand in greeting.

“Yo.”

He didn’t wait for Gintoki’s approval this time, just striding past him to the main room and plopping himself down in the same spot he had vacated not long earlier. He opened a file and went to grab a pen, then seemed to realise he didn’t have one. He patted himself down, but couldn’t find one. 

An odd expression somewhere between shame and panic crossed his face. 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, then stomped past him to his desk, dropping in the chair and letting it spin round.

“There’s one under where you’re sitting,” he said absently.

“Hm?” Hijikata scrabbled around under the seat and somehow managed to find it. “Oh. Thanks.” He started to scribble in the margin of one of the files and Gintoki lost interest.  
He spun round on the chair a couple of times before having to stop because it made him too dizzy.

“Hijikata?” He said softly.

“Yeah?” The sound of the pen didn’t stop.

“Why are you here?”

“Doin' my-“

“Don’t bullshit me.”

The sound of the pen stopped.

“You need company.”

Gintoki rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to tell Hijikata to fuck off, but then the doorbell rang again. He slammed his head against the desk.

“Come in!” He yelled, unwilling to get up again. He spun round again so that he was facing Hijikata. “And you. Don’t speak while I’ve got customers. It’s rude.”

Hijikata gave him a long look, as though to say that he obviously wouldn’t but didn’t get a chance to say anything because a young woman entered the room, clearly nervous.

“Umm,” she started. “Can you help me with something?”

Gintoki nodded. “Depends on the thing, but sure, take a seat. What is it you need?”

The woman gingerly sat on the edge of the free couch and glanced at Hijikata.

“Don’t mind him,” Gintoki said dryly. “He’s not gonna do anything to bother you.”

“Right…” The woman gave Hijikata one last look then moved on. “So two weeks ago…”

 

It turned out that the woman’s husband had died a few months ago and, in the time since, she had found out that someone had been desecrating his grave. The police had apparently not done anything (Hijikata had the good grace to look somewhat ashamed) so she had come to the Yorozuya instead. Gintoki promised that he would look into it and noted down the location of the grave, telling himself to check it out in a few days.

Once she had gone, he slumped in his chair.

“Tired, Yorozuya?” Hijikata piped up, sounding all too smug for someone who had just been told that he couldn’t even police the graves.

“Says the person who’s just sat there doing nothing,” Gintoki mumbled.

“I’m doin' plenty!”

“Sure,” he retorted, a sarcastic smile on his face. “I saw you. You’ve not done anything with that pen for at least the past ten minutes!”

Hijikata squawked. “How dare you!”

“It’s true,” Gintoki said smugly. He was enjoying this.

He started enjoying it a little bit less when Hijikata threw the pen at him, successfully getting it to bounce off of his nose.

“Oi!”

Hijikata coughed a laugh. “See? Not so funny when it happens to you, is it?”

“When I have I ever thrown a pen at you?”

“I dunno. Seems like the kind of petty thing you’d do though.”

“Petty?" Gintoki's eyes bulged. "Right. That’s it.”

Gintoki launched himself out of his chair, vaulted his desk and began to chase a shrieking Hijikata around his flat. He was not going to lose in his own territory.

 

He didn’t notice until later, but his headache had faded to almost nothing. He was pretty sure that every time Hijikata said something stupid (which was fairly often), his headache vanished entirely in favour of mild irritation and fond dislike.

Gintoki would never admit it out loud, but he was grateful for Hijikata’s presence. He was a good distraction from all the things going on in his head and it never felt too much. It felt familiar. It felt good.

More importantly, it was making him feel better. Maybe Hijikata had been right. They just needed to act like people again and gradually they’d remember how to be normal again. Or their definition of normal at least.

But how could Gintoki thank him for helping him like this? For going out of his way to make sure that Gintoki was okay, or if not okay then at least better?

Kagura and Shinpachi had come back earlier, but Gintoki had sent them away again to buy some food with the money they’d just earned. The last customer had been a while ago and Gintoki had closed early, so it was unlikely that he’d be interrupted. That could work to his advantage.

As he watched Hijikata quietly working, it came to him. The one thing he could do that would show his gratitude the most.

Gintoki calmly stood up and walked around his desk, willing every bone in his body to act casual. With a grunt, he dropped down next to Hijikata on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Hijikata briefly look at him but the other man didn’t say anything. Good, he could take him by surprise.

As slowly as he could, Gintoki leaned over and gently rested his head on Hijikata’s shoulder. Both of them tensed at the sudden contact, unused to it. Everything in Gintoki was screaming at him to move, that contact with another human was wrong, but he resisted the urge to move. He had to show Hijikata that this meant a lot to him. He had to try.

Hijikata seemed to gradually understand what was going on and relaxed, his the tension in his shoulders unwinding. 

“Somethin’ make you wanna sit here?”

Gintoki huffed. “Looked comfy.”

“S’that so?” Hijikata said thoughtfully.

They fell into companionable silence. Gintoki felt himself beginning to relax as well. It was safe here, this contact wasn’t bad. It wouldn’t hurt him.

He wasn’t okay, but he would be. He was pretty sure that sleep would come easier tonight than it had done in days. If anything, he was falling asleep right now. It occurred to him that he should say something, before he forgot.

“Hijikata?”

“Hmm?”

Gintoki opened his mouth to say the words, but they just weren’t coming. He’d rarely said it in the past, but now that he really wanted to, he couldn’t. He gave an exasperated sigh.

“Never mind.”

He felt Hijikata turn his head. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” Gintoki sniffed. “Was stupid anyway.”

Hijikata turned his head back to his work. “Always is with you.”

Gintoki pinched him, causing him to give a very manly yelp, then they fell into silence again. Just as Gintoki was starting to doze off, Hijikata cleared his throat.

“Gintoki?” He sounded unsure.

“Yeah?”

There was such a long pause that Gintoki thought Hijikata wouldn’t say anything.

“What you were gonna say before. I know.”

Ah, that’s what it was. Gintoki smiled sleepily.

“Good,” he said softly. The silence lasted after that, and Gintoki let himself fall asleep, knowing that he’d be safe. His headache had completely gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that was terrible, I'm sorry. It's really short and not entirely where I wanted this fic to go, but it's where it's gone so *shrugs*
> 
> I don't really have any excuses for not posting more of this, but I'm going to make some anyway.
> 
> I wasn't that happy with this fic when I first started it, but I posted it anyway cos I was like 'I can add to it and it'll get better? Right?' That's great in theory, but real life hit me like a fucking truck and I couldn't bring myself to write for months. It's still a struggle now (hence why this is awful). I also briefly fell out of the fic fandom cos my time got filled up with other stuff, but I'm gonna get back into it now cos I bet there's loads of good fics that I've missed out on.
> 
> So there's my excuse.
> 
> Ngl, part of the reason I wrote this was cos Gintama has gone on indefinite hiatus again and I need to fill that spot in my life. At this point, I think I should have expected it. Ah well.
> 
> Thanks for putting up with this crappy fic and terrible author :)


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